


What happens on the farm... outtakes

by msxylda



Series: Darcy comes home [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Light BDSM, There's no reason for this to exist, To prove I still could, Tony assumes, Unexpected aggressors in the bedroom, Wet t-shirts, You know what they say about assumptions, and I wanted to write smut, but I didn't want anyone thinking ill of Jane, so here it is
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-23
Updated: 2016-09-23
Packaged: 2018-08-16 21:57:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8118967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msxylda/pseuds/msxylda
Summary: Shorts that happened during "what happened at the farm" either on or off camera from a non-Darcy POV





	

“We have the same hair Jane,” Darcy moaned, pulling on the hair in question, “the. Same. Hair.” She whirled and started pacing again. “Well mine is a little curlier, but hers is longer, so we break even on that score…”

This had been going on for twenty-eight minutes and- she pulled her phone out of her pocket just enough to covertly peak at the screen- thirty-seven seconds. And Darcy showed no signs of stopping. Unfortunate since Jane really had to pee. Three glasses of wine at dinner to deal with Clint and Darcy eye-fucking each other in front of Laura and then two cups of coffee after to sober back up had to pee.

It was becoming urgent.

She tried clearing her throat to get her assistant’s attention, but it didn’t work. So she tried firmly saying her name. Nothing.

It was clearly going to be one of _those_ rants.

Darcy hadn’t had many, well at least not while Jane wasn’t busy unraveling the mysteries of the universe, but when she did they were the thing of legends. Bards on Asgard sang songs of them. No, honestly. She’d heard one while she was there during the whole Aether business. Fandral was a real Darcy Fanboy. 

Sighing, she shifted. Then crossed her legs. Then uncrossed her legs. Then cursed. Then…

Then gave up. This was clearly going to be along the same scale as the rant when Clint had prevented Phil from kissing Darcy. That one had gone on over the course of years. In fact, it only ended when Phil had died in The Battle of New York.

Well that was depressing, she mused, but not so much that it distracted her from her dire need to use the bathroom. 

Figuring she had time, she quietly got up and slunk off the porch. Thor was in the kitchen with Cooper and Lila, doing epic battle with the dishes and regaling with tales of The Warriors Three and Lady Sif. She did note that Thor seemed to be paying extra attention to Sif’s exploits while talking to Lila. She wanted to stick around to find out what that was all about, but her bladder would not be denied.

Once she made it to the bathroom and took care of business, she checked her phone again. Only four minutes had passed. Grinning to herself, she went to make the trek back to the porch, assured she could make it back outside without Darcy…

Ever…

Noticing…

The two giggling children barreled past her as she remained stuck in the hallway watching a laughing Thor. One who was drenched with water. Just absolutely soaked. The white material was clinging to every dip and curve of his abs. Stretched taught so she could see…

Dear God, she could see his pert little nipples.

“Lady Jane!” He exclaimed when he noted her. “We’ve concluded the dishes.” He looked down at himself and laughed again. “Though I think we may not have washed them in the proper fashion.”

He looked down at himself, causing his entire front to ripple.

You know, she figured, Darcy would probably be fine on her own. She waited for something in her- anything in her- to disagree, but it turned out that even the most responsible corners of her brain were a big fan of Thor’s nipples and remained blissfully silent.

So instead of laughing with Thor and giving him a little smooch on the way back out to the porch, she grabbed him by the hand and pulled him towards her room.

Darcy would forgive her eventually.

Or not.

Didn’t matter, right now she was going to get Thunderstruck.

**Author's Note:**

> the next chapter is one giant lemon. If you don't like that, avoid it when it's posted


End file.
